How I Left My Comfort Zone and Why You Should Too
My first 2 years at UNB, I really struggled to get involved and meet new people. Having grown up in Fredericton, I entered UNB with an established group of friends and lived at home. I didn’t believe there was a need to join clubs or participate in orientation, because I already knew the university and the city. I remember thinking that I didn’t even need to make new friends, since my high school friends were coming to school with me.
Despite thinking this way, I felt envious of other students. I saw groups of friends walking back to their dorms together, laughing and having fun. These were people who had moved to Fredericton from their homes — whether that be somewhere as close as Moncton, or as far away as India — and took the leap to meet each other. I saw booths set up for various student organizations and clubs, and longed to sit with them.
The answer was obvious: join a club! Talk to new people! But it felt so difficult, even during my second year.
I began my Bachelors degree in September 2020, so everything was completely online. I never once went to campus in-person. I only ever saw my professors through my laptop screen, and I only ever talked to my fellow students through Teams group chats. It was incredibly isolating. It almost felt like I wasn’t in university at all. When my first year ended and it seemed like we would be in-person for second year, I was very excited.
But then second year started, and it still felt isolating. Finally I was able to go to campus, but I felt disconnected from the other students. While students living on-campus became fast friends with their roommates, and student athletes formed groups with their teammates, I stuck to my friends from home (who were amazing, by the way!). I left campus the minute I was done classes, didn’t talk to anyone in class, and felt too intimidated to sign up for any clubs. It just felt like as a domestic student I had no reason to mingle with the rest of the students, especially since I hadn’t been able to the year before. Near the end of second year I started to worry that this would be my whole undergrad experience. University is about academics, of course, but it’s also supposed to be about trying new things and learning about yourself. I wanted that so badly. So, I decided in winter of 2022 that I would apply to be a Redshirt for my third year.
Applying to be a Redshirt changed everything for me. As an energetic person, I knew it would be a good fit for me, but I was so scared to start training because I had not applied with anyone I knew. In my everyday I had a group of friends I could rely on to sit with me in the SUB or walk with me to classes, but here I was alone. I almost didn’t go to that first day of training out of nerves. But I forced myself to show up that morning, and then… I started talking to someone. And then someone else. And then a third person. I was placed into a group with complete strangers, and by the end of the day I had a new group of friends, just like that. It felt kind of unreal. Training continued for 3 days, and then we had a long week ahead of us for orientation. I thought I was going to be exhausted, but…
Maybe it was due to the new friends I had made, or maybe the adrenaline from so many long days of training, or maybe just the excitement of getting to help the new students, but I was so energized! The week passed in a blur. We screamed, danced, sang, woke up at 5 in the morning and went to bed at midnight. Sometime throughout the week I gained an appreciation for UNB that I didn’t have before, a love for the university that I had been missing my first 2 years. Every Redshirt and Blackshirt I talked to shared my excited energy, and we were able to pass it along to the anxious new students. It was truly one of the best weeks of my undergrad, and possibly one of the best of my life.
The confidence I gained from this experience carried me through my last 2 years at UNB. I stayed in contact with my new friends, and suddenly I was able to talk to half the students that I passed by on campus. Even just being able to wave hello to people between classes is such a small thing, but it helped me solidify myself as a UNB student. It made me feel like a real part of the community. My last year at UNB I applied to be a Blackshirt, and met even more friends that way — people who I now consider to be some of my best friends! I would never have been able to meet them if I didn’t take that first leap out of my comfort zone.
All of this to say, it is so worth it to try something new, especially if you’re afraid to do so. University is the time to challenge yourself and explore your interests. Unfortunately, you will never be able to do either of these things if you don’t take that first step. Undergrad passes by so much faster than you think, so talk to new people now, sign up for clubs now, and do all the things you’re scared to do now! I promise you’ll have so much more fun!
